How do you see me?
Am I an image of His creative beauty
Am I a cultivated seed of love embedded in iniquity
Am I a passion of lust dripped from her femininity
Am I speared by his explosion of masculinity
Am I nurtured with their love of parenting
Am I infused with my own history
Am I educated to the system of reality
Am I marred by the dirty lens of society
Am I hated for my black woman sexuality
I am who I be
I am who He made me
I am His identity
I am created in His imagery
I am scarred from iniquity
I am cleansed by His blood’s purity
I am bludgeoned by society
I am a soldier in His army
I am a breath of history
I am living freely
I am me
Peace and many Blessings,
She tells me I can’t make it on my own
But I say, “Yes I can because I’ve been nurtured and I’ve grown”
She consistently magnifies my faults
But I’ve learned to zoom into my creative thoughts
She tells me I’ve taken way too much
But I say, “I am still incredibly tough”
She tells me I cannot stop living in my past
But I say, “I have a new role and a brand new cast”
She tells me the future I must fear But I say, “I cannot stop living, I must persevere”
She tells me my heart will hurt again
But I say, “I was created to love and to be a good friend”
She tells me I’ve waited too late to educate
But I say, “I can do anything because of my faith”
She tells me I will never be understood
But I say, “My life is for doing His will and to be good”
She tells me I’ve missed my blessings
But I say, “My journey is an ongoing divine lesson”
She is My Inner Critic and insists that I remain hidden on the shelf But I will not allow “she” to penetrate and destroy My True Self
Peace and Many Blessings,
Ago I lived in dysfunction
Lacking much envied healthy structure
In dire need of a conjunction
It was the stick that broke the heart that left the painful puncture
The wound opened and exposed Like that of an aggressive leech It suckled the blood away until it closed
Then headed for the refuge of the heart broken elite
Amongst this privileged crowd There emerged a beacon of illumination
The light brown windows of his soul pierced through my storm cloud And ignited my heart with a pure love of determination
Never could I have imagined a love so sweet
Eventually, I perceived that he was my fortune
A precious jewel
To be admired
And most definitely acquired
Never could I have imagined a man so true
Eventually, I believed that he was my fortune
A beautiful statue
With great value
He a lit my fire anew
That I desired to pursue
Never could I have imagined a love so surreal
With such sex appeal
Eventually, I received that he was my fortune
A royal crown
With rubies abound
A love that must be endowed
I was very fortunate to Perceive Then receive
Because I believed
This love story was then achieved
Peace and Many Blessings,
After experiencing a love so cold My heart was left incomplete and half whole
I decided to be oh so bold
And ask my Heavenly Father for a man to hold
Not just any man simple in mind Who’d choose to disrespect me all of the time
But a man who was very complex And wasn’t ashamed to let his heart muscle flex
You see my heartbeat needed to be restored
For my love had been locked behind my soul’s door
Chained and unable to loose itself like many times before
But my heart screamed , “I’m so ready to soar!”
So I asked not for the typical man who’d undress me with lust
And only desired his portion of my delectable pie crust
But an insightful man who could look past my voluptuous bust
And forever desire my love and trust
I no longer had the room for the user to ride
Who’d eventually take it all…..even my pride
I desired a man who wanted to provide
So together we could live, love, and survive
A man who would never leave me out in the wilderness
And toy with my heart’s sacred tenderness
But a man who’d forever feel blessed In knowing that he has my precious touch and caress
I desperately wanted a man who could understand me
Yet my soul could remain free
And not be incarcerated like a caged bird
You see I’ve lived that life before and it’s completely absurd
For my last love escapade made me depressed
My wants and needs had to be suppressed I was not allowed to grow and progress
Instead I was lavished with mountains of stress
This made me recall the pain of the dagger
And how the excruciation caused me to stagger
How my heart almost lost its rhythm and swagger
And how beautiful things seemed to no longer matter
This hurt began to caution my prayer
For another break my heart just could not bear
To have my soul ripped apart again was so unfair
And I absolutely refused to return there
Then I thought, would I continue a life without love because I’m afraid Would I allow that devastating heartbreak to keep me in the shade Would I forever be walked on and played
Or will I take back my power and be the woman that God has made
I choose to live a life of love and let go of the pain
To free and release the hurt that remained
To give up the defeat that caused me shame
And wait for my love in my Father’s domain
Peace and Many Blessings,
Part 1: Ladies Room is Out of Order
Sister we need to take pause from our distorted, perfection reflecting mirrors; our synthetically filled healthy bodies; and our carnal degrees of education that we boldly display as advertisement for “wanted” as well as “unwanted” positions, in order to come to agreement that we have a major fashion fiasco to where our slip is hanging, our girdle’s elasticity is stretched out, and our stockings have a snag. Yes, sisters, we are a hot mess and we need to tend to ourselves for the sake of our children.
Anyone would suppose that a woman would need to step into the “Ladies Room” to correct these issues and to face the problems in the mirror in order to fix them. Anyone would suppose since the Ladies Room is gender specific that you could step right inside and correct your womanly issues amongst other women who by just glancing at you can relate to what you are going through. Anyone would suppose that any woman would take and face her problems in the Ladies Room in order to fix them. After all, isn’t that what the popular song, “A Meeting In the Ladies Room” was about? Taking our problems and our girls to the Ladies Room to fix, and we come out super fly with it all together?
Now somebody slap me!
No, we go in the Ladies Room, but we come out with more problems, more baggage. You see while in the Ladies Room trying to give solution to our hanging slip of selfishness, we got our girls in our ear encouraging selfishness and self-centeredness because we have an image to maintain in society’s crooked eyes; we can’t walk around with last weeks’ styles, even if it means having to rob Peter to pay Paul, we have to appear a certain way in order to attract attention. Our girls are in our ear reminding us that our man’s eye is wandering so we have to make sure we remain seen by him, and everybody else if necessary, no matter what type of a fool we have to pull out of our bag of tricks. Let’s please not overlook why we have to invite our girls into the Ladies Room with us, yes, it’s true that they are our supporting cast of cheerleaders and they got our backs in case something should breakout in the Ladies Room; but, the main reason we invite them along is to use them as a mirror, as reflection, as judgment because we are too afraid to look at ourselves in the mirror.
So, we leave the Ladies Room with our new bag full of issues to add to our existing issues and off we go with a heavier load to try to make it in the same circumstances. But, we think it’s all good because we got this thing called a girdle that diligently works to hold in, all the loose skin of our emotions, and smooth out all the fat cells of our environment; and we are moving along just fine until our load gets heavier and heavier, and our girdle begins to stretch out of shape and it can no longer hold in the pressure. So, we grab our girls and head for the Ladies Room. Only to be loaded down with more carnal solutions.
So, here we go again leaving the Ladies Room full of advice and more issues. Weighted down and sluggish, trying to make it in the same circumstances. But, we think it’s all good because we have these stockings to cover-up our flaws on the part of the body we think our strength comes from…our legs. Whether it’s running here or there, or hopping to and fro, we mistakenly believe our strength is in our legs.
But, my point is this…we keep going back to same place, hoping for a better result.
Meeting recessed to move to a new location.
Ladies we’ve been having our meeting in the wrong room for a while now. Turns out we’ve been walking blind unable to see. But, the good news is, our Father has made a motion to move us to another location. I am boldly standing to second the motion. Now all we need is for the Church to say Amen!
Part 2: The Restoration Room
Sisters, when we look to the world for solution, then we will always thirst again, and we will always be hungry. So, let me re-introduce you all to our new meeting place, the kitchen. This is the room set aside for preparing, processing and producing. Come on in and pick a station. If you need some guidance as to how to stand up for our brothers and sisters in this racially repressed society, I invite you to take a load off and sit here with Queen Esther, shell some peas, while she teaches you the importance of maintaining your heritage and being proud of whom God created you to be. If you need to gain favor with your man, may I suggest you sit and talk with Ruth to understand faithfulness and what it was like to get under the skirt of Boaz, so that you can come in from just gleaning and become an owner of the field of crops. If you are caught up in a situation that involves your man and his wife, I would suggest you sit and talk with the concubine from the book of Judges, chapter 19 and learn from the lesson of the favored master in a vile society.
Side note: My next project will be a collection of my original quotes derived mostly from Scripture. My tentative book title is, “As Wisdom Comes”, I would like to share this one with you from Judges 19 since we are on the subject matter.
“Whoa to the concubine whose master is favored, for she shall always be sacrificed as his savoir.”
This quote simply translates to, if you are the woman on the side, then your position will always be in the back. Meaning things that are important to you (such as your birthday, holidays or when you just desire to be in your man’s presence) are all subjected to his life with his wife. Are you worth more? The sooner you recognize that your heart, your feelings, your tears or your hurt doesn’t mean anything to him, the sooner you can be delivered from him. Always remember, when it comes down to saving himself, his family, his career, his pride, etc., he will throw you out to the wolves to handle you in any kind of way. Are you worth more, child of God?
Anyway, my point is this….our solution to our issues as women is in the kitchen. We must get to work! Let’s stop at the bread station. There is plenty of work to do here; the wheat has to be ground; water must be added to make it into dough; the yeast has to be worked in; dough needs to be kneaded; the oven is hot and ready to bake it to a golden brown. But, wait let’s not forget the main process of producing bread…..allowing the dough to rise. While we wait, let’s talk to the woman who can tell us all too well what it means to rise. Meet the woman from the synagogue that Luke wrote about in chapter 13 of his book, she was bent over for eighteen years and everyone just kept on stepping over her as if she wasn’t there, they kept on ignoring her need for help, and they kept on passing her by because they felt that she was insignificant. But, Jesus, saw her while He was preaching in the synagogue. He called her to Him and told her that she was set free, and then He touched her with His hand and healed her. She will witness that no matter how long you’ve been held down by chains, Jesus will heal you. She wants you to know that no matter how many times man passes over you, that the Father will call you forward to set you free so that you can stand and witness in His name. She will testify that the Father will justify you in the midst of the very same people that kept you down by ignoring your need of help. This woman really helped me, because I was bent over from so many blows in my life and I had lost hope of ever being able to stand again, until I was introduced to her by reading and receiving the Word. Now we stand side-by-side working together in the kitchen baking the bread.
Let’s go over to the chopping station where all kinds of delicious salads are created with handpicked fruit and vegetables selected by the Father. Meet Gomer, wife of Hosea, and Mary Magdalene. These ladies are special because they were used and abused by men; talked about because they were lost and promiscuous; and considered to be low-life’s by people that looked down upon them. But, the Father chose them for His purpose. Gomer was chosen to illustrate to man that the Father loves us in spite of our adulterous ways and turning our backs on Him. We have been purchased by His blood and His love is always available to us. Mary Magdalene was chosen because she made an about face at the sight of Jesus and gave up her sinful ways, and the Father teaches us that He can use anyone, regardless of what you have done in your past. Just repent and live for the Father!
Dessert anyone? Of course, we all want dessert, but we have to wait to have it after dinner has been served. This brings us to Rachel, oh sweet, Rachel. She can definitely share with us the sweet victory of a man laboring for her love. Rachel knows what it is like to not just give ourselves away to men, but to wait and allow a man to work for our love. Jacob loved Rachel so much that even after he committed seven years of his life as payment to marry Rachel; and was hoaxed by her father, that he was still willing to go through what he had to do in order to have the pleasure of being her husband. Sisters, when he is meant to be your man, he will do whatever it takes to show his love and respect for you.
Part 3: Feeding our Children
Sisters, we have an obligation as mothers and nurturers to raise our children to be the best that our Father has created them to be. However, in order to do so, we must make sure we are healthy and well fed by our Father’s love and His Word. So we must stop filling ourselves up on synthetic carnal foods that are readily available to us along our paths; and start to seek spiritually healthy food that our Father has for us.
We are falling short of our duty as mothers. It’s time for us to leave the Ladies Room and head for the kitchen to be fed, and gather our seeds so that we can feed our children. Our children are starving for nutrition that comes from the Word. Our children need guidance, love and discipline. It is up to us to feed our children, but we must feed ourselves first. Our children deserve to be healthy!
Sisters it’s time to release that heavy load
Drop it as trash and leave it on the side of the road
Once you’ve surrendered then your eyes will behold
A beautiful life that’s been waiting to unfold
Get out of man’s mirror, stop filling up with fake food, and please stop evaluating your worth by man’s standards. Let’s tend to ourselves in the appropriate room for the sake of feeding our starving children. Our Father is not concerned with what you look like on the outside, He wants you to be beautiful on the inside. Our strength is in our knees and our hearts. Surrender your soul to Him so that you can reap the harvest of the beautiful life that He has in store for you.
Our Father is in the kitchen with His Word waiting on us. Let’s eat!
Peace and many Blessings,
I had to let go of the weight of the world
I had to give up the material girl
I had to give up worshiping the house and cars
I had to come in from the nightlife and bars
I had to say good-bye to the ballers
I had to hang up on the late night callers
I had to stop being played
I had to allow that old me to fade
I had to give up my egotistical pride
I had to release that manipulative side
I had to let go of my insecurities
I had to grow from my immaturity
I had to remove the plank from my eye
I had to relinquish the lie
I had to remove society’s blindfold
I had to break man’s mold
I had to cease serving man
I had to stop relying on my plan
I had to peel back the layers of mess
I had to stand before Him undressed
I had to let out the cry
I had to allow that old me to die
I had to surrender my soul
In order to be made whole
Peace and Many Blessings,